Jack Watts’ weekly column is aimed at helping those who have been wounded, including those who have been abused by the church. If you are in pain—or if someone you know is in pain—you will find real comfort, wisdom, and answers right here. Based on his book, Recovering from Religious Abuse, published by Simon & Schuster, Jack will teach you the value of working the “11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.” Remember, recovery is a process—not a destination. The answers are simple but not always easy. Look to the Lord and allow His Spirit heal you. If you do, your life will become everything you ever envisioned it would be.
At the origin of every action is a thought—Ralph Waldo Emerson
It’s okay to be exactly where you are, regardless of where that might be. It doesn’t do any good to pretend you are something you’re not, either. That never works. You’re only fooling yourself. Remember, denial of the truth is never an appropriate option in recovery, so it’s time to stop self-defeating behaviors.
Instead, be real, and be honest. Tell God exactly where you are in each area of your life, being completely forthright. You can’t be where you aren’t, and pretending something is real, when it isn’t, makes you a phony. Nobody wants to be a phony, right?
The Lord certainly doesn’t expect anything from you other than you coming to Him just as you are. Remember, you’ll never get out of the hole you’re in until you stop digging. The best place to start is by being candid about your situation. You could say:
Lord, I want to do Your will, but most of the time I don’t know what that is. Right now—this very minute, I put myself into Your hands—totally and completely. I choose to believe the changes You are making in me will transform me into the person You want me to be. Please, help me keep my heart and my eyes focused upon You. I know that if I do, I will not be disappointed.
Even if you are in the deepest, darkest emotional pit of your life, or if you are involved in self-defeating behavior that threatens to destroy you, He will join You there. Once he comes, He will never leave you.
After you have opened yourself up like this, thank God for everything He will do to make you into the person He wants you to be. Then, hold on to your seat because it is going to be a wild ride.
When you consider your downward slide, remember, God’s goal is to fill your life with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness and self-control. Join me in this prayer now, and refer to it whenever you feel the walls closing on you.
Lord,
Having been wounded at the core of my being,
I have stopped seeking You—
Stopped praying, stopped looking to You
For wisdom, guidance, and discernment.
I haven’t wanted anything to do with You.
I’ve been so angry, so hurt, and so humiliated.
In my pain, I have acted in ways I’m ashamed to admit.
I have wanted to keep them secret—to hide them
From You and from everybody else.
I didn’t want to become like this—
To become the person that I am,
But my sins have gone over my head,
And I am unable to control them,
Which I foolishly believed I could.
They control me, and I know it.
I can no longer hide the truth from You.
I am weary of hanging my head in shame,
Of churning anger and bitter resentment in my heart.
I don’t want the wounds from my abuse
To control my future, as they have my past.
To change my behavior, I will need Your help.
Lord, I am in a deep pit—
Where there is no easy way to escape.
I have routinely blamed others for my plight,
Choosing to embrace the role of being a victim,
Convincing myself that I have been faultless,
But I can no longer accept my delusions.
I have to admit the truth to You and to myself.
I need Your help, Father. Without You,
My life will have neither meaning nor value.
At the core of my being, I know this is true.
Help me end my self-defeating behavior,
So that I can once again be clean.
Restore my strength and a clear mind to me.
Thank You, Lord, amen.
Refer to Step 2: I commit to stop living my life in pursuit of self-defeating behavior.
For I joyfully concur with the Law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the member of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. (Romans 7:22-25)
To see more on recovery, check out The 11 Steps to Recover from Religious Abuse.
Jack Watts won the award for the “Most Inspirational Memoir” in 2011 for Hi, My Name Is Jack, published by Simon & Schuster. They also published Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.His daily blog, Pushing Jesus, is read in more than 140 countries. Jack lives in Atlanta, where he broadcasts two weekly Blog Talk Radio shows—Jack Watts Live and Jack Watts on Recovery. Single, he has five children and nine grandchildren.
To see more from Jack Watts please visit https://mcgee-andme.squarespace.com/.
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