How to Stop Thinking Negatively

Have you ever been driving down the road, admiring a beautiful sunset, only to be interrupted by the irritating noise of your tires jarring against the gradient on the side of the road? If so, you grasp the concept of you gravitate towards what you contemplate. In other words, if you hadn’t been looking at the beautiful view, your tires would never have veered off course.

The same is true in our relationships.

Eventually we live out what we think about. If we focus on what is lacking instead of what we love, we notice our spouse’s flaws instead of their best qualities. When we keep score and feel like we are getting the short end of the stick; inevitably we live discouraged, defeated, and disappointed.

When Greg and I first married, I unknowingly wrote vows across my heart of I’ll never let another man hurt me. I’ll never be made a fool of again. I won’t ever be vulnerable. You can imagine the uphill battle Greg faced to demonstrate his love. Years of hurt built impenetrable walls, in an effort to protect my emotions and life.

I gravitated toward disbelief, a lack of trust, and skepticism.

Ever been there? Ever wanted to change the way you feel but felt powerless to unrelenting emotions of the contrary?

If so, there’s hope! Friend, when you can’t always change the way you feel; you have to change the way you think. Here’s how:

1. Evaluate your thought life, frequently. What are you thinking about? What mindsets need changed? Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” Do what the apostle Paul encouraged the church of Corinth (2 Cor. 10:5). Take every thought captive to the cross.
2. When negative feelings arise, remind yourself of the truth. What does God’s word say? For me, I reminded myself, that if God was for me, who could stand against me?
3. Choose to trust God with your relationship. God has promised He will be our defender. He will strongly support those who are completely His.
4. Speak the truth. Ok, it may sound a little crazy, but I actually spoke to my mind “out loud.” I would say things to counter my fears like: God is my defender. God will protect me. God gave me Greg. Greg is my gift. I choose to trust Him. It’s not up to me to control Greg; it’s my job to love him unconditionally.
5. Finally, remember to pray my favorite prayer to God; HELP!
   1. H= He
   2. E= Ever
   3. L= Lives to
   4. P= Pray for me

I hope you’ll take courage as you make moments to meditate upon the promise found in Hebrew 7:25, that Jesus ever lives to make intercession for the saints. God will strengthen your relationship as you surrender your thoughts to Him.

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