I remember it vividly. I was in the fourth grade, sitting in a store dressing room with my mom, tears flowing uncontrollably.
“What is wrong?” she asked in bewilderment. One minute we were happily shopping; the next minute I sat in a heap, unable to move or talk. Unfortunately, there were too many problems to articulate. I didn’t even know where to begin.
Should I start with the fact that I felt fat? Or that I didn’t fit in at school? I was, after all, at my third elementary school in two years. Maybe it was the beginning of raging hormones or the stress of living in a single-parent home. Or maybe it was the perfect storm of all of the above. My life simply felt out of control, and I didn’t know how to articulate it at the young age of ten. All I knew was, at that very moment, I hated myself.
Although I am almost 40, some days I feel like my 10-year-old self. Although most days I am confident and capable, some days I feel weak, exhausted, and overwhelmed with life. All I want to do is curl up in the fetal position and cry in the dressing room again. Can you relate?
Those dressing room days usually result from:
- listening to naysayers.
- comparing myself to others.
- comparing other people’s social media highlights to my daily reality.
- feeling discontent instead of grateful.
- spending time online instead of in the Word.
I know I am not alone in this struggle. I have spent years mentoring young women, although we might share different backgrounds, races, educations, careers, marital statuses, and neighborhoods, we all share one desire: the desire to see ourselves, not as the world sees, but as Jesus sees.
It is this common thread that led me to write my soon-to-be-released book, If You Could See as Jesus Sees: Inspiration For a Life of Hope, Joy, and Purpose.
As a child of divorce, I have a deep-seated need for connection and community. I think most women, no matter their background, also long to fit in. To matter. To find their place. We’ve been on this quest since the seventh grade lunch table. And our desire to find our group, our tribe, our framily (friends like family) still exists. We peruse social media and watch everyone having fun without us. We instantly feel lonely, discontent, and isolated. Where is our lunch table? Who will sit with us? We try to forge ahead but the lies of the world echo in our minds and hold us back:
- A teacher who told us we weren’t smart enough.
- A parent who told us we weren’t pretty enough.
- A coach who told us we weren’t talented enough.
- A “friend” who told us we weren’t cool enough.
- So we told ourselves we simply weren’t enough.
Thankfully, we are always enough for Jesus.
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
The truth is, Jesus will drag you out of the dressing room. He will sit with you at the table. And if you are patient, He will bring you a flock of women who need you as much as you need them. If You Could See as Jesus Sees brings women hope, joy, and purpose by addressing one basic human desire: the need to be seen by our Savior for who we are at our core. And at our core we are daughters of the King.
Join Elizabeth over the next seven weeks as she unpacks more information and excerpts from her new book, If You Could See as Jesus Sees: Inspiration For a Life of Hope, Joy, and Purpose, scheduled to be released January 1, 2016. To follow her blog or find out more about her other books, resources, or speaking ministry, visit Elizabeth Oates
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