Jack Watts’ weekly column is aimed at helping those who have been wounded, including those who have been abused by the church. If you are in pain—or if someone you know is in pain—you will find real comfort, wisdom, and many answers right here. Based on his book, Recovering from Religious Abuse, published by Simon & Schuster, Jack will teach you the value of working the “11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.” Remember, recovery is a process—not a destination. The answers are simple but not always easy. Look to the Lord and allow His Spirit to heal you.
When spiritual abuse occurs, there is always the temptation to conclude that God doesn’t care, or that He really isn’t there. To feel this way is normal—at least for a while. Along with these feelings, the following question is universally asked: “If God is really in charge, then how could he have allowed this happen?”
Even Christ asked the question when He was on the cross—”Why have You forsaken Me?”
With Christ, the answer is obvious. If God had rescued His Son, the Lord would not have died for our sins. Being forever lost, we would have no way to establish a relationship with God.
But why didn’t God rescue you? He could have, but He chose not to. Instead, He allowed you to go through a world of suffering, didn’t He? Why would He do that? Does it mean He doesn’t really love you?
No, it means He treated you like a son or a daughter, allowing you to suffer at the hands of a ruthless, self-serving abuser—just like He allowed His Son to suffer at the hands of the Pharisees. God could have rescued Jesus, but He didn’t.
God had a purpose for what He did, and He had a purpose for what happened to you as well. God knows your situation more intimately than you do. He is aware of every aspect of your abuse and, no matter how badly you’ve been hurt, He is still in charge—no matter what.
His silence may seem unjust, but it is not. It may seem unkind and unloving, but it is not. You may not feel His presence and you probably don’t, but He is there for you, regardless of how you feel. You not only can count on it, you must count on it. Acknowledge this by joining me in the following prayer:
Father,
I have wandered so far from You—
From Your ways, from Your leading,
From Your purpose, and from Your love.
At first, it didn’t seem like a great distance,
But, over time, I have come to realize
My departure has been
Far greater than I ever imagined.
I know I need to return to You,
But now that I see how far the divide has become,
The way back seems daunting.
In my reaction to having been wounded,
I have behaved in ways that have not only
Hurt me but others as well.
I know this is true, and it grieves me.
I’m so sorry for having been so hurtful,
Which I acknowledge I had no right to do.
I can see how wayward I have become.
As I begin my long journey back to wholeness,
I know that I need to make amends to those
I have hurt along the way.
It never occurred to me that I might have
Treated others in the same way I have been treated.
Just thinking about this makes me feel ashamed.
Father, I am so, so sorry for my behavior.
Forgive me, and restore my relationship to You.
Be with me, as I try to restore my relationship to others.
Help me learn from my egregious errors,
So that I never feel the compulsion
To drift so far from You again.
Thank You for allowing Christ to die for my sins,
Amen.
Refer to Step 5: I recognize that the only way back to a productive life is exactly the way I came. Therefore, I commit to repairing my relationship with God and making amends with everyone I have wronged along the way.
All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. (Hebrews 12:11)
To see more on recovery, check out The 11 Steps to Recover from Religious Abuse.
Jack Watts won the award for the “Most Inspirational Memoir” in 2011 for Hi, My Name Is Jack, published by Simon & Schuster. They also published Recovering from Religious Abuse: 11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.His daily blog, Pushing Jesus, is read in more than 140 countries. Jack lives in Atlanta, where he broadcasts two weekly Blog Talk Radio shows—Jack Watts Live and Jack Watts on Recovery. Single, he has five children and nine grandchildren.
To see more from Jack Watts please visit https://mcgee-andme.squarespace.com/.
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