8. Meaningful content. If you desire to truly enhance your communication, you must also develop the content of your conversations. You must not allow your fellowship to remain superficial, but you must share the most important things in your life. Meaningful communication is always fulfilling and edifying and will encourage you to come back for more. How can you develop a more meaningful content?
First, there must be something meaningful happening in your life. What do I mean? The most meaningful thing that can possibly happen in your life is what is occurring in your relationship with the Lord. When God is at work in people’s lives and they are filled with the Holy Spirit, it is worth communicating. David declared the joy of this abundant life when he said, “Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will declare what He has done for my soul” (Psalm 66:16).
The disciples experienced the same thing after they were transformed by the infilling of the Holy Spirit on the day of Pentecost. Peter said, “For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.” (Acts 4:20).
Therefore, ask God to begin stirring you up spiritually and fill you with His living water. Seek God in His Word and then share what you’ve learned and what God is doing in your soul. The more you share spiritual things with your mate, the greater will be the depth of your relationship.
In addition, meaningful conversation consists of the important things that happen to you each day; your joys, struggles, and accomplishments. These are the important things in life. When you discuss them with your mate, he or she will sense that your relationship is becoming more meaningful. This will open up even more communication.
Therefore, tonight, why don’t you purpose to share with your spouse one thing that happened to you today and how you felt about it. Then communicate one thing you learned from God’s Word and how the Holy Spirit applied this truth to your life. As you take these steps, your fellowship will surely become more meaningful.
9. Be more encouraging. One of the easiest ways to enhance your communication is to simply be more encouraging by regularly declaring your appreciation for each other. It is so easy to verbalize your criticism and to find fault; it seems to come forth with no effort at all. But, why is it that encouragement and praise for a job well done seem to get stuck in our throat?
Scripture teaches that praise and encouragement are a valid and necessary part of good communication. We are told to “encourage one another daily” (Heb. 3:13). Solomon taught that “a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised” (Prov. 31:30). Even the Father will one day say to His faithful ones, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21).
I am sure that your spouse has done something today that is worthy of appreciation and praise. Have you declared it? Are you loving your spouse on a daily basis? Does your husband or wife fear God and faithfully serve the Lord? Consider all the things your spouse does every day to benefit you and your family. Why not mention how blessed you feel to have him or her as your partner?
What will happen when you begin to become more encouraging in your communication? Your entire relationship will be strengthened because your spouse will sense your love and care.
10. Make Christ your example. Jesus said, “Come… learn from Me” (Matt. 11:28-29). This command is especially applicable in the area of communication. Jesus is the supreme example of an effective communicator. He always maintained perfect balance in every situation. To the religious hypocrites He could speak the stern rebuke that was needed. In the very next moment, He could speak tender words to a child or a repentant sinner. He felt comfortable communicating His deepest emotions. He expressed His sorrow, His grief, even to the point of weeping over the city of Jerusalem (Matt. 26:38; Luke 19:41). To His disciples He could also express His grand hopes and goals for their lives and future ministries (John 17).
Will you follow His example and allow God to start transforming you? If you are willing, He can make you an effective and well-balanced communicator. All He requires is your surrender to His full control and Lordship (Rom. 12:1-2). As you yield, God will also make you an example to your spouse and to your children of an effective communicator. Let God begin the work today and you will begin to love your spouse and enjoy your marriage relationship like you never have before!
If you would like more information on the marriage ministry of Pastor Steve Carr or his book Married and How To Stay That Way, please come and visit us at www.covenantkeepers.org