The Six Second Kiss

“Scarcely had I passed them when I found him whom my soul loves. 

I held him and would not let him go…” 

– Song of Solomon 3:4

The ‘six-second kiss’ is a simple and romantic way to connect with your spouse on a daily basis.  Dr. John Gottman advocates that couples enjoy this activity during the every day moments of transition.  This moment serves as a oasis to a day filled with activity and stressors.  The six-second kiss will set the tone for the start of your day or the beginning of your evening.  Greeting your loved one with affection speaks high value to them and lets them know they are important to you.  It evokes good feelings that you have already shared together.

The ‘partings’ and ‘reunions’ of your day play an important role in the course of your relationship.  Partings and reunions are at times when couples tend to feel rushed or overly tired.  In the morning when you part each other’s company for the day, giving a six-second kiss provides the fuel for your spouse to go out and conquer the day.  It evokes good memories and a desire to spend more time together.

When you come together in the evening, take a moment to stop what you are doing and greet each other with the six-second kiss.  There is temptation to continue cooking or continue to watch TV.  Many couples make the mistake of greeting with a negative such as, ‘You didn’t put the garbage out like I asked you.’ or ‘The kids were acting out today- I need you to manage them right away.’

Small gestures can ensure your reunion goes well.  It is also a sets a good example if you have children at home. Here are a few ideas to create the positive moment you have been looking for in your relationship.

1. Set aside any cell phones and any other distractions.
2. Let your spouse know you are happy to see them and looking forward to the evening with them.
3. Enjoy the six-second kiss.
4. Give each other some positive affirmation.
5. Take time to ask each other about your day.

The six-second kiss may seem like a small gesture but at the same time it has the ability to strengthen your marriage.  It is a great way to stop and remember your love for each other.

Have you had a six-second kiss today?  Let me know how practicing the six-second kiss changes your marriage!