Biblical Resolutions In Marriage

Is your marriage struggling with multiple conflicts that seem to rarely get resolved? Are you sick and tired of arguing about the same things over and over again?  Are you wondering if there is a way to ever truly resolve these problems? Let me assure you, there is a way to resolve conflicts with your spouse. If there is anyone who knows how to solve marital problems it’s the One who created marriage. The One who created you and has reconciled the world unto Himself has revealed this plan in His Word. How do you do it? What is needed to resolve the conflicts in your marriage?

First, you must be willing to resolve the conflicts. The willingness to actually do something about the conflicts between you and your mate is the most important place to start. In marriage counseling, this is the first question I usually ask a couple:  “Are you willing to do whatever the Bible requires to resolve this conflict?”  The answer to this question reveals very quickly whether anything will be accomplished in our time together. Before you read this article, you must determine the same thing.  Are you willing to resolve the conflicts between you and your spouse?  Are you willing to take the Biblical steps that God requires of you?

With two willing hearts there is no problem that cannot be solved.  God promises in His Word that all He is looking for is a willing heart to obey Him, and His blessings will flow out to you.  He promised His people, “If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat of the good of the land”(Is. 1:19).  Then He warned them, “But if you refuse and rebel, you shall be devoured by the sword; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken”(Is. 1:20).  Notice the importance God has placed on this one attitude of the heart.  Start here brothers and sisters. Ask God to give you a willing heart to resolve the conflicts. You may even have to start with asking God to give you a willingness to be made willing. He can do this too!

Second, you must be willing to ask God for help. Jesus said to His disciples, “Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:41).  Even though Jesus knew that His disciples had a willingness to follow Him, He also knew the weakness of their human nature. This is why He encouraged them to pray.  He knew that only the power of the Holy Spirit could rule over the weakness of their selfishness.

Do you realize how weak and insufficient you are in your own strength to do what God requires? If you do, ask Him now to empower you with His Spirit to help you to lovingly seek reconciliation with your mate. Where you are weak, He will make you strong!

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses,
so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults,
in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

-2 CORINTHIANS 12:9-10

If you are not a Christian or you have not been walking with Him, He still loves you and wants to help you turn your marriage around. However, you must have a personal relationship with Him to enlist His aid. You cannot ask for His benefits and resources and have nothing to do with Him. You would not want mere acquaintances to come and ask you for money and help if they were not your friends, and the same is true of God.  If you want God’s help you have to be more than His acquaintance; you need a love relationship with Him. Then, He will give you His life inside your soul to enable you to do what He commands.

This change of relationship with Jesus also entails willingness. Jesus said of many in His day, “But you are not willing to come to Me that you may have life” (John 5:40).  Are you willing to come to Him, to turn from your life of independence to one of trusting Him? Are you willing to turn from your sin and rebellion to follow Him? He died to forgive you and longs to pardon you right now. Ask Him to come in and take over your heart and life. Therefore, the first step in gaining God’s help is to reconcile with Him, then He will help you to reconcile with your spouse. Remember, these are only the first few steps, there are more to come.