Talking with God

Is your life feeling a little rocky lately?

God’s plan for you is good, but that doesn’t mean it’ll always be smooth.

My family and I have faced some seriously rocky times of the past year and half, including the death of both of my parents and the debilitating illness of my daughter Annie.

Times like this are certainly hard, but they also have a way of clarifying your life and connecting you to the things that are truly important. That’s what makes them such a great space for God to work in your life.

Even though these challenges have been at times sad, tiring, scary, and frustrating, I’ve been constantly amazed and overwhelmed by God’s perfect provision for us along the way. Over and over again I’ve been struck by the dual realizations that “I can’t do this alone,” and “God has provided help.” These times have drawn me closer and closer to Him, and I find myself talking with God all the time as I go through my day.

Here’s some of what I’ve had to say to Him over the past six months or so:

June: God, it hurts to lose Dad, but it’s clear to me that you took him to heaven at the perfect time. The family was all available to be here together to mourn and celebrate his life. Now I see why you had Chris and me plan a trip that we could cancel, so that I didn’t disappoint others. Thank you for preparing my brother to move from his ministry to the farm. He knew you were at work on his heart but didn’t know what you wanted him to do. Now we know.

July – October: God, how perfectly you have provided for me during the onset of Annie’s illness. Chris and the kids are in a good stable place. You gave me a wonderful company in Cassidy Turley that was okay with me cancelling three business trips. You gave me a wonderful husband, Chris, who was willing to change our trip, shorten my time with him at his partner meeting, and be there with me in Dallas rather than Oregon for the summer to support me while Annie was in and out of the hospital. Even her time in the hospital was perfectly timed, giving me lots of “down time” to focus on some crucial areas for 4word. You provided a support network at 4word, and understanding boards and colleagues. My brother and sister have taken over the family farm and are covering for me there.

November: God, as Annie’s illness continues and we also have to move houses, it is so humbling and heartening to see friends and family continue to step in to fill the gaps. You stabilized Annie enough to make the move even possible, and you brought my friend Kerri to manage all the moving logistics.

As I write this now, it’s the 23rd of November, and it was five months ago when I realized that Annie was really seriously sick. God has worked through my family, my work, my 4word team, my boards and my friends to carry me and give me grace. He has been my foundation throughout and I can’t help but praise him every day.

We still have a long road ahead with Annie’s sickness, but I’m confident that God will continue to carry us through.

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Do you find yourself drawn closer to God during rocky times? In what ways has He provided for you?