There is a lady at our church with the strangest name. Maybe I am misunderstanding her. Every time I say, “Hi, how are you?” She says, “I’m Busy.” I think of her as “Miz Biz.”
Perhaps she does have a first name after all. Yesterday she responded to my greeting with, “I’m Crazy Busy.” Crazy as in fanatical, mad, senseless? Oooooh, not so good!
Almost everyone I know is busy. That’s the American way. We are proud of our busyness.
Today’s “Busy” could well be described as a boast disguised as a complaint.
We have children to raise and older parents to manage and households to run and friends to nurture and then, there’s work. For Pete’s sake. Of course we’re busy!
Is busy a description of how we are or an embellishment of how we want to think about ourselves? Does the word busy define what we do, or who we are?
If busy wasn’t bad enough, we’ve make it worse for ourselves by associating it with success. After all, the more busy you are, the more successful you must be, right?
Do we ever use the word busy to legitimize the reason we aren’t getting anything done? Or returning phone calls or e-mails? “Oh, sorry, but I’ve been so busy!”
Busy is the new black. The go-to complaint that is appropriate for all occasions.
Women who are working and managing a household are, of course, busy. The point is not how busy we are. But rather, are we being productive in our busyness? Are we taking care of ourselves in the midst of being busy?
There are at least three kinds of busy:
- Fun busy: Planning a party. Painting a poster celebrating a co-worker’s promotion. Researching the itinerary for an upcoming trip.
- Regular busy: A co-worker is on vacation and you’ve been saddled with her work load. You’re expecting the in-laws and have been cleaning house and tidying the guest room.
- Crazy busy: Very often a condition brought on by poor boundaries. You said “Yes” but should have said, “No.” You’ve trained your friends that you’re the “go to” person, but find they are not available for you. People pleasing while neglecting yourself.
Four ways to counter our busyness:
- Anchor yourself: Take a small amount of time each morning – to stretch, enjoy your coffee, read, and think about your goals for the day. Reconnect with your Creator and His daily plan for you.
- Anchor your family: Make dinner with your family a priority. Whether you have six or two around the table. Not just to eat, but to take the time to prepare the meal, share it, spend time doing anything but work. Make the time between six and eight o’clock an unplugged time. Turn off all electronics. Adults and children alike.
- Anchor your mood: Play “High/Low”. Go around the table and ask each member (even if it’s just two of you) , “What was your high today?” And, “What was your low?” Listen. Make appropriate noises, like “Wow” or “Bummer.” Don’t judge.
- Anchor your work: Be clear on exactly what hours you are expected to be “on the business clock.” Give yourself permission to stop work and start “other”. Personal time is not a luxury. It is imperative for good mental health. My friend Cindy works from home but takes her dogs out for a walk at a certain time in the afternoon. If she forgets, the dogs remind her. She leaves her cell phone at home.
Busy can be dangerous when left unchecked. Busy can lead to stress and stress to illness. Busy can become a life style that leaves you drained and disconnected from people and God.
Let’s not confuse busyness with progress. Don’t just keep on being busy for busy’s sake.
Tame the busyness. Tame you life! Keep yourself sane and well.
And BTW — Did I mention, you could hire a coach! Just sayin’.
Question: Let me hear from you. How do you define your busyness and what do you do to counter the effects of it? What would you like to say to your “busy” self?
Dive into more of Carolyn’s helpful and encouraging wisdom, The One Thing Busy Women Desperately Need and Can’t Make Happen
To learn more about the author please visit Carolyn Dunn Coaching
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