Understand God’s Love

Jack Watts’ weekly column is aimed at helping those who have been wounded, including those who have been abused by the church. If you are in pain—or if someone you know is in pain—you will find real comfort, wisdom, and answers right here. Based on his book, Recovering from Religious Abuse, published by Simon & Schuster, Jack will teach you the value of working the “11 Steps to Spiritual Freedom.” Remember, recovery is a process—not a destination. The answers are simple but not always easy. Look to the Lord and allow His Spirit heal you.    

Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too. This is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves. —Blaise Pascal

Once you are no longer angry with God, nor blame Him for your abuse, you will begin to see life more clearly—from a healthier, more accurate perspective. Then, when you least expect it, it will happen. Intuitively, you’ll know the Holy Spirit is renewing your mind and your heart, providing wisdom. Everything will finally come together.

When this occurs, and it will, you’ll be undone. Instantly, you’ll realize precisely how much God loves you; and this realization will be overwhelming. From that precise moment, everything inside you will change, and you’ll never be the same again—not if you live to be one hundred. You will become aware of your value and what it cost God to make you His own. Perhaps for the first time, you’ll understand God’s love for you and how safe you are in the hands of the Master.

At that moment, nothing else will matter. Neither self-fulfillment nor material comforts will seem important. That’s when wisdom—God’s wisdom—will enter your heart, and you will be changed from the inside out. It’s your Mount of Transfiguration—the place where you cannot sing Amazing Grace without weeping from heartfelt gratitude, knowing that the “wretch” in the song is you.

Suddenly, everything will become clear; and you’ll know your life still has value and purpose. This moment may not last long, but that really doesn’t matter. You will have seen reality—if only for an instant—the way God sees it; and nothing will ever be the same again. The purpose for your recovery will start to come together. You’ll look at your past differently—with more clarity.

Your abusers had a purpose—to use you, to exploit every fiber of your being and, when they were through with you, to discard you as someone no longer worth their time or trouble. For a while, maybe even for years, your lifestyle validated their assessment—as you pursued self-defeating behavior. But now that your eyes have been opened, those days are over and need never return.

What your abuser used destructively, God transformed to rebuild you—from the inside out. When this reality dawns on you, when you understand it at the core of your being, you will begin to fathom God’s love—a love that cannot be shaken nor diminished. Once you understand this, like the phoenix, you will rise out of the ashes—out of your doldrums—to newness of life. You will be a better person than ever before, and you’ll be thankful. It’s been worth it—all of it, including your abusive experience.

If you desire restoration in your life, join me in this prayer:

Father,

You know my troubles like no other,

And You understand my adversities.

You know that sometimes I’m so afraid

That my skin grows cold,

And it feels like I can hardly breathe.

I feel so helpless.

I’m afraid of so many things.

I’m afraid of people and of being alone,

Of never experiencing happiness again,

Of not having enough money.

Father, it seems like the list never ends,

And I lack motivating strength.

I need Your help—now, more than ever.

Be my strength, when I am weak.

Be my fortress, when my life crumbles around me.

Father, I can rely on no one but You,

And sometimes I’m afraid You don’t really care—

That You are not really there to help me.

I want to be strong and confidant,

But I am not, and I know that I’m not.

Father, give me Your strength and Your confidence.

Help me put one foot in front of the other—one day at a time,

With nothing sustaining me but my confidence in You,

Which I admit is tenuous and very fragile.

Amen.

Refer to Step 11: I make a commitment to nurture my relationship with the Lord, asking Him to reveal His will to me and to provide me with the power to carry it out.

You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain; that whatever you ask of the Father in My name, He may give to you. (John 15:16)