For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses,
but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin.
Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace,
so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
– Hebrews 4:14-16
MY PRAYER: Father,
The wounds from my mistreatment run deep,
Creating anger, frustration, and an overwhelming
Sense of worthlessness that
Enervates every area of my life.
With my mouth, I refuse to admit
That this is how I see my situation,
But in the deepest recesses of my mind,
I wonder if the castigation of my abusers is correct.
Maybe my life doesn’t have much value, after all,
Precisely as I have been told repeatedly.
It’s a message I have internalized as accurate.
When my exploitation occurred,
I was angrier with You
Than with those who abused me.
Because of the relentlessness of their vitriol,
I believed they spoke the truth,
Which was certainly what they indicated.
But now, I have begun to view things differently.
In my woundedness, it never occurred to me
That Your Son was also abused—just like me—
By hateful, self-righteous religious leaders.
You permitted His abuse—just like You’ve permitted mine.
What Christ’s abusers meant for evil, You meant for good,
Redeeming Mankind through his death and Resurrection.
Without the suffering of Your Son, all would be lost.
Thank You for allowing such a tragedy to occur,
On my behalf, as well as on the behalf of others.
Father, can You make my life have similar worth?
Can You use my abuse for something that
Has transforming value for others as well as for me?
Can You turn my pain and my weakness into strength?
Can You take my life, which has been shattered,
And make it joyful and purposeful once again?
MY SLOGAN: God could and would if He were sought.
—I will use the wounds I have suffered to make me stronger.
—The pain I feel is only temporary; it has a purpose.
—I am becoming more comfortable with who I am each day.
—I believe God still loves me and has a wonderful plan for my life.
MY MEDITATION: Be gracious to me and raise me up, that I may repay them. By this I know that Thou art pleased with me, because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, Thou dost uphold me in my integrity, and Thou dost set me in Thy presence forever (Psalm 41:10-12.)
The wounds from my abuse run deep. Here is what they have said and written about me:
For a while, I accepted my abusers castigation as true. This is why:
Nevertheless, I refuse to continue believing what they have said and written is true. Here are three ways I can stop making myself vulnerable to their lies: