I’m no Martha Stewart, but I recently spent an entire day cleaning my house, and was proud of my work. So when hubby arrived home after work, I greeted him at the door, and waited for a word of affirmation. I imagined a “Wow, you’ve worked hard; it looks so clean!” Instead his first words were, “What’s that wet spot on the floor?”
He noticed, but not exactly how I wanted him to notice.
Our spouses are human. They will do some things that help, and some things that push our insecurity buttons. Possibly, the reason God does not allow us to have perfect spouses, or perfect marriages, is that if our spouse always did everything right, then we wouldn’t need him.
We have a tendency to put our spouses on the throne of our lives, but inevitably, they will disappoint us. Instead, God should be on the throne. He wants to be our significant other; the center of our existence, and the object of our affection.
The Hebrew word for husband in the Old Testament is “Ish,” and is used in Isaiah 54:5. “For your Maker is your husband (ISH)—the Lord Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.”
So if God wants to be our love interest, what are the longings he fulfills? Here are a few:
God is never too busy for us.
One of the consistent complaints heard from women is their husbands don’t spend enough time with them. God longs for us to get up early in the morning and sit in his presence. He converses with us through his Word. He desires time alone with us in prayer. When we pray, he doesn’t say, “Can I call you back? I’m in a meeting.” He craves connecting with us throughout the day. Psalm 121:7-8 says, “The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going now and forevermore.” The Lord watches over our lives forever. He’s eternally never too busy for us.
God loves us.
We often ask ourselves, “Am I really loved?” We’d like to think our spouse loves us enough to die for us, but here’s a flash bulletin: Jesus already did. In many ways the entire Bible is a love letter written directly to us. Listen to this beautiful passage from Romans 5:6-8: “You see at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Christ died for us, the ultimate act of love by God, so we can spend eternity with him. God is love. He created both love and intimacy.
God will never abandon us.
Abandonment can be a scary, painful topic. Marriage in our culture is not what it used to be. Fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce. However, God commands us not to worry. We must place our security in him, and trust that no matter what happens, God will not desert us. So when we imagine the worst, or the worst just came home with a heart full of burden about his or her secret life, let God sit in the seat beside us and hold us tightly. Claim this verse from Deuteronomy 3:18: “The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
So on those days where we are feeling insecure in our marriage, we must remember to cling to our Ish, for it is only in God that we find the fault-free stability we need.
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