We all envy the couple who seem captivated by each other. You know who they are. They catch each other’s gaze across the room, and give a flirtatious wink. Who is this wife who seems to hold her husband’s attention in spite of children, financial difficulties, and those extra pounds she has held onto since the babies came?
Don’t you want to be that woman? What is her secret? How has this wife managed to keep her husband’s attention, and what can you learn from her?
First Timothy 2 encourages godly women to focus less on adorning themselves externally and instead, to live in a manner that professes godliness. God’s secret to capturing your husband’s affection for a lifetime is for you to be devoted to developing your inner beauty.
Along with developing your inner beauty, there are many ways to help your husband have eyes only for you. Here are a few ideas, and I’m sure you can think of more:
- Flirt with him. Catch his eye across a crowded room and give him a flirtatious wink. Whisper in his ear at the dinner table how you plan to enjoy his company later–after the kids are put to bed.
- Present yourself so he will be proud of you. Dress to please him (Proverbs 31:22).
As a rule, men have an innate desire to be proud of the appearance of their woman. This doesn’t mean you have to be able to prance about in an itsy-bitsy bikini. Rather, when you make an effort to look pretty for your husband at the end of the day you bless him. And when you take extra care to look your best when you go out with your man, you honor him in a way only other men will understand.
- Look joyfully toward the future. Rejoice in the times to come (Proverbs 31:25).
Dream with him. It doesn’t mean he will actually do all the things he dreams about, but become the one he can dream with.
- Forgive him. And then don’t keep a record of his wrongs. In the way you would hope your husband forgets about your past offenses, offer him the same grace.
- Have sex with your husband. Do you realize you are God’s gift to him to satisfy his God-given sexual desires? “When you mistakenly view your husband’s need for sex as some sort of primal urge to be satisfied from time to time, you are missing the true ministry God has given you to affirm your husband’s deepest emotional needs through sex.
Did you know that when you pursue your husband sexually, you have a profound influence on him in all areas of his life? Men tend to struggle with feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. When you find your husband sexually desirable, and he feels loved for who he is, then you fill him with a sense of strength, well-being, and confidence. Is it any wonder men put so much value on sex with their wives?”*
From my husband and pastor, Steve Stoppe, listen to this insight about how sex influences a man’s sense of well-being:
“In my experience, husbands who are sexually satisfied at home are deeply in love with their wives. I wholeheartedly agree with Rhonda’s statement in this chapter that bares repeating: “When you find your husband sexually desirable, and he feels loved for who he is, then you fill him with a sense of strength, well-being, and confidence.”*
If you have found sex in your marriage to be less than passionate, you can discover insights to a better sex life in the eBook: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Great Sex in Marriage.