“The grass isn’t always green on the other side; it is green where you water it.”
Recently I heard a powerful story about a pregnant couple who were days away from their birth date. They were excited to enjoy their last dinner out before their family became three. The wife was home waiting with great expectation for her husband to arrive and take her out to dinner. Time was passing, but he did not arrive for their important date. Eventually their reservations were cancelled and she was distressed. When her husband finally came home, she greeted him with, “I know this dinner was as important to you as it was to me.” He explained that just as he was about to leave his office, an important client called. His boss was standing at the door. Recently layoffs had been a topic of discussion at his job, and he didn’t want to be seen as someone who doesn’t attend to business or get the job done, especially at this time, as their first baby was soon to arrive.
That evening could have gone very differently if she would have greeted her husband with harsh words. Instead she had chosen to believe the best about him remembering many fond memories they were creating to welcome their little one. She did not know layoffs were looming and her husband’s job could be in jeopardy. Or on that day he had chosen to protect his job in order to provide for his family.
When there are misunderstandings it is easy to believe the worst about your spouse. “He doesn’t really care about me.” or “He is always late!” Making the decision to change your focus and think about what’s good between you is a powerful key to a happy marriage and home. Remind yourself of your spouse’s positive qualities even in the midst of seeing his or her flaws. Doing this allows the best to shine through them.
As it turns out, focusing on the good in your spouse is a powerful tool for transforming your marriage. What you focus on you magnify! Research shows that it takes 21 days to adopt or to break a habit. I would like you to consider for the next 21 days taking the Philippian’s 4:8 challenge, magnifying the good in your marriage and your spouse.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”
Here is how to begin the challenge:
- Give your spouse one praise each day.
- Think about and list 3 good qualities about your spouse.
- Let your spouse know how much you love and respect them.
- Remember what attracted you to your spouse and why you married them.
- Think of a time your spouse prayed for you and genuinely cared about your well-being.
- Describe how your spouse is faithful to you and your family.
- Recall the good times you have had together.
- Write your spouse a love letter, and send or text it to them.
- Create your own ways to admire and think about your spouse.
You can make a great impact on your marriage by letting your spouse know they have high value and you are blessed by your marriage. Speak words of life and blessing over your spouse today!