How to Raise Kids Who are Secure and Confident

Would you say you have a happy marriage? A better question is: Do your kids think you have a happy marriage?

As a mom, you need to realize the best way to raise kids who are secure and confident is to love your husband deeply.

So let’s take some time to discover the secret to a loving marriage.

Anyone can fall in love –

STAYING IN LOVE is what we hope for!

My husband Steve and I celebrated our 33rd anniversary. Over the years we have worked to keep our love sweet. I can honestly say our love is deeper and more passionate today than ever! How is this possible?

I am so glad you asked!

STAYING IN LOVE

In over 30 years of ministry, my husband Steve and I have had the privilege of taking numerous couples through 6 weeks of pre-marital counseling. My favorite week is called “Staying in Love.” This is the nuts-and-bolts to how to live the happily-ever-after life we all hope for.

Here are THREE BASIC PRINCIPLES you can apply to your marriage:

1. IT’S ALL IN YOUR MIND. Falling in love occurs because we choose to think about all of the wonderful characteristics and attributes of our love. Once we marry, and “seal the deal” so-to-speak, it’s human nature to take for granted the love of the one we had worked so hard to win over.

The KEY to staying in love is making a DELIBERATE choice to apply Philippians 4:8 to your thought life:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things (Philippians 4:8).

This means you MUST:

• Take control of those crazy thoughts that assign wrong motives to your spouses’ actions
• CHOOSE to believe the BEST about your husband (see 2 Corinthians 10:5; 1 Corinthians 13:7).

2. FORGIVE. Does forgiveness characterize your relationship? To build a no-regrets marriage, you MUST decide you are going to be one who forgives.

I know, I know, you want to say, you don’t know what you are asking me to forgive. But I am telling you, if you do not regularly practice forgiveness in your relationship, a root of bitterness will sprout in your heart that the Bible says will defile many–namely your children. (see Hebrews 12:15)

Have you ever been out with people who have a root of bitterness toward one another? It’s excruciating to spend time with them, isn’t it?

Jesus says, Out of the abundance of your mouth your heart speaks. (Matthew 12:34)

If you are harboring bitterness, I guarantee it will spill out in your conversation. If your relationship wreaks of bitterness, your children – and others – will not be drawn to you, but will actually learn to avoid or endure you.

And when forgiveness characterizes your marriage, it will also be the standard for how your children treat one another as well.

3. LOVE. Above all CHOOSE TO LOVE. Husbands are to love their wives and live with them according to knowledge (1 Peter 3:7).

Ladies, your man will never figure out what’s going on in that head of yours. Let’s be honest-often we aren’t even sure of why we are feeling what we feel.

If you do not mercifully and kindly help your husband to understand what speaks love to you, he is never going to figure it out! So, no more of this, If you loved me you’d understand me cop out.

Above all else PUT ON LOVE:

And above all these put on love,

which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Above all, keep loving one another EARNESTLY,

since love covers a multitude of sins (See Colossians 3:14; 1 Peter 4:8).

YOUR MARRIAGE IS A LIGHT. Jesus said, By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (John 13:35).

Your genuine love for each other will be a light that tells your children – and a watching world, knowing the Savior makes a difference in your life. Letting this light shine does not happen by accident. In fact, if you rely on your feelings you will certainly miss the opportunity to shine Christ’s light.

When life is hard, when you are hormonal, when the bills pile up, and the kids are sick…this is when the light of your love shines the brightest! Jesus said, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

Won’t you determine to STAY IN LOVE? Your children will be most secure when they know their parents are in love.

Thirty-three years ago my husband and I determined to build a no-regrets marriage by being one of those couples who would fall more in love with each other each passing year–a decision we have never regretted.

For us, this means to love each other with the love the Lord has put in our hearts, through our relationship with Christ. And this is the same resource God gives to anyone who would surrender to Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

The watching world–and your children, are longing to believe in HAPPILY-EVER-AFTER. With your example –your love gives them hope!