I Am So Fearful

GOD’S PROMISE:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear,

but of power, love, and sound judgment

– 2 Tim. 1:7

MY PRAYER: Father,

I know You have not given me a spirit of fear.

Your Word assures me that You haven’t,

But this doesn’t mean I’m not fearful. I am.

Sometimes, my fear is so consuming

It sends a cold chill through my body—

Through my soul—through the essence of my being.

On the outside, it doesn’t show, but on the inside,

Where my insecurities and vulnerabilities reside,

I am undone. Every fiber of my being

Quakes with foreboding, immobilizing me,

Consuming me with dread.

When will it end? When will my heart know peace?

When will terror of the unknown and of economic calamity

Cease to grip my soul? Apprehensions toss me about,

Robbing me of sleep, robbing me of purpose,

Robbing me of a meaningful, productive life.

You know me intimately, Lord.

You know my thoughts and my anxieties,

But I cannot find You in this dismal pit,

Which has become my daily existence.

Assure me that I will experience joy once again—

That I will regain my self-confidence—

That I will smile confidently at what is to come?

Don’t allow my fears about the future to be my portion

In life, destroying everything that has meaning and value.

Father, You know what the future holds, but I do not.

What will my destiny be? Will my disquietude abate?

Will tranquility be mine again, or just a distant memory?

The answers are not in my possession. Although I desire

To know the future, I have no control over events,

Even though I deceive myself into pretending that I do.

My fears and anxieties rob me of my faith. Without Your help,

I lack the strength to overcome this limitation.

You see me as I really am and not how I pretend to be.

I need Your help. Rescue me, Lord; rescue me quickly,

Lest my trepidations consume everything of value in me,

Amen.

MY SLOGAN: We must lose our fear of creditors no matter how far we have to go, for we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them.

MY AFFIRMATIONS:

—Almighty God desires for me to be sane, sober, and stable.

—My spirit is loving and powerful—not timid and fearful.

—God’s power makes me stronger than my fears.

—Intuitively, I will know the right thing to do.

—I have the power and will to exercise sound judgment.

MY MEDITATION: So your life will hang in doubt before you; and you shall be in dread night and day, and shall have no assurance of your life. In the morning you shall say, “Would that it were evening!” And at evening you shall say, “Would that it were morning!” because of the dread of your heart which you dread, and for the sight of your eyes which you shall see (Deuteronomy 28:66-67.)

MY JOURNAL:

These are reasons why I am so fearful. They include:

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I have not always been fearful. Looking back, my fears began when I was:

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I’m not as confident as I seem because of these factors:

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I don’t want others to know how fearful I am because:

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