Sibling Rivalry

Amy is a perfect example of how rejection plays into the complexity of family dynamics. The eldest of four and the only child by a different father, her story is documented below.

“My childhood remains stained by painful memories of rejection. The truth is I have never felt accepted by my family. Growing up my mother was unquestionably partial to my siblings. For every gift I received they received two. Even today, if you were to walk through my mother’s home you would notice many pictures of my siblings but very few of me.

Although my sisters and I are on the same social networking sites they only list each other as siblings. I rarely receive pictures of my nieces or nephews although I faithfully send them pictures of our children. It is difficult for me to wrap my mind around such obvious rejection. For years I blamed myself for their actions. Trust me. Self-blame is easy to do when you are the target of family hostility.”

Amy is not alone in the battle for acceptance. Unfortunately, when it comes to rejection her story proves the standard, not the exception.

If a biblical list of parental blunders and faux pas were created, favoritism would top the list. Imagine the Old Testament scene as Joseph’s father presented him with the coat of many colors. If any of his eleven brothers had lingering doubts about Jacob’s partiality they were now put to rest.

One act . . . One coat . . . The father’s favoritism revealed and on display. One has to question, what was this father thinking? Doubtful Jacob was thinking; more likely he was imitating the behavior patterns of his parents. Parental favoritism, which virtually shattered Jacob’s own childhood, was about to destroy his sons. Had he not learned the dangers of preferential treatment? Why was he repeating family failures?

The same reason many do. We unconsciously imitate the same destructive relationship patterns we observe during childhood. Statistically, what we witness in childhood we generally model in adulthood. If you have experienced failure in creating strong and healthy relationships I sincerely recommend reviewing the relationship principles modeled before you as a child. Take time to consider the parental style of your parents.

Are you mimicking wrong parental attitudes, or worse, weaving them into the lives of your children?

Out of all relationships, perhaps the parent-child relationship is the most fragile and complex. Therefore, I want to teach you how to effectively survive what I call the parent trap. You know the balancing act of expressing care without smothering, being lenient yet not condoning wrong behavior.

Discover more godly wisdom from Dr. Tracey Mitchell’s article Mind Games

A national conference speaker, Tracey travels 40+ weeks a year, sharing Biblical principles and wisdom. Her real life experiences – though painful and challenging enable her to identify with the hurting, lonely, and rejected. Whether speaking corporate CEO’s or the homeless, Tracey’s passion for re-writing the lives of the brokenhearted makes her messages relevant and empowering.  A frequent television guest and host of “Today With Tracey”, she is an advocate of those having experienced rejection, poverty or emotional abuse.

To learn more about the author please visit Tracey Mitchell