Safeguarding Your Marriage From Immorality- Part III

What keeps a person from an adulterous relationship?

1. Don’t overestimate your strength.

If you want to keep yourself from a moral fall in your personal life, beware of this error.  Paul warned the Corinthian church that
over-confidence in themselves is what caused many of the moral problems they experienced.  “Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corintians 10:12).

What do you think about yourself?  Do you think you are strong and unable to fall in the area of immorality?  Remember, many “strong” individuals have yielded to this temptation (Proverbs. 7:27). Think of King David.  He was a man who sought God with his whole heart.  Yet, in the latter part of his life, he grew over-confident and fell with Bathsheba.  Therefore, beware lest you think that you can allow yourself to get into tempting situations and not get entangled.

What causes this over-confidence in self?  It begins with a proud, self-reliant attitude.  You will think, Not me.  I would never do that. Remember, Scripture teaches that “pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs. 16:18).  Therefore, examine your heart and humbly ask God for an honest appraisal of yourself.

This haughty attitude is usually fueled by an inadequate understanding of the power of your sinful nature.  We all like to think that we are stronger than we are, even though we fail so often.  Think of the areas in your life right now in which you are struggling with the power of your flesh.  This should convince you of just how weak you are when it comes to resisting the passions of your fallen nature.  Therefore, don’t ever get over-confident, but recognize that your fleshly desires are stronger than you are.

2. Deal with your lustful thoughts and desires quickly.

The speed with which you deal with your thoughts and desires is essential for victory. Lustful thoughts and desires are where all your troubles begin; therefore, resist them immediately.  Paul encouraged Timothy to “flee…youthful lusts” (2 Timothy. 2:22).  This is the
only way to deal with your desires effectively and victoriously.  How do you flee these thoughts and desires?

First, recognize these thoughts as sin.  When you are having sexual or romantic thoughts about another person, violently reject them.  Solomon warned that even “the thought of foolishness is sin” (Proverbs. 24:9 KJV).  James explained that when we are tempted, we have two issues to deal with: 1.) being drawn away by our own desires and 2.) enticed (James 1:14).

Paul the apostle, therefore, teaches that your mind is intricately connected to the desires of the flesh.  He explains that as you “put off” these fleshly thoughts you will be “renewed in the spirit of your mind” and kept from fulfilling evil, which is our very nature (Ephesians. 4:22-23).

Third, resist Satan in prayer.  The Devil, called the tempter in Scripture, is constantly seeking to entice you to fulfill the lusts of the flesh (Matt. 4:3). Therefore, when you are being tempted, continually “resist the devil and he will flee from you” (James 4:7).

3. Confess to a trustworthy friend and ask for prayer.

As you confess your struggle with temptation to a trusted friend, you receive help in many ways.  First, your confession allows a friend to counsel and encourage you with the Word of God.  As this friend applies the Scripture to your life, light exposes this work of darkness for what it is, a lie.  Sin always promises something that it can’t deliver.  That is why Paul called sin deceitful (Hebrews 3:13).  “The entrance of Your word gives light; It gives understanding to the simple” (Psalms. 119:130).  In addition, once you ask for help, you now have someone who can keep you accountable if the temptation persists.  However, the most important strength you receive will be from his or her prayer support. James commands: “Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another…the effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much” (James 5:16).  If you want the energetic and caring prayer support of a trusted friend that has the ability to avail much, you first must take the step to confess your need.  Don’t neglect this assistance!

4. Flee the situation.
Once you’ve dealt with your lustful thoughts and desires and found some good counsel, you must then take action to remove yourself from the actual temptation.  Not only do your thoughts and desires lead you to sin, your behavior does also.  If you find yourself alone with a tempting person, you must flee from the situation.  This literally means to put as much space as possible between you and him or her.  In some circumstances taking this action will be quite easy.  However, in other situations it may involve taking drastic action such as: not hiring a secretary that you are attracted to, not taking a job where an interviewer has made sexual or inappropriate comments, or not talking to someone at church who always wants to hug you.

This principle of fleeing from a tempting situation is not a sign of weakness, but of wisdom and strength.  This what Joseph did with Potiphar’s wife.  He knew this was his only hope if he was to overcome the situation (Genisis. 39:7-12).  Proverbs warns us that the wise man “sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it” (Proverbs 22:3 NIV).  Are you involved in a dangerous relationship or have an acquaintance that poses temptation? If you do nothing and continue in the same direction, be assured, you will suffer for it.

Click here if you missed Safeguarding Your Marriage from Immorality Part I and Part II