When you first got married what were you expecting from your relationship? Did you marry to find security with someone who would care for you, or maybe to escape from your parents’ home? Every couple that marries has various reasons and motives for becoming husband and wife. However, do you know what God has declared in Scripture regarding His purpose and has an ultimate goal of marriage? Do you understand how to realize the goal He intends for your relationship?
This article will help you understand God’s purpose for marriage and give you some practical steps to achieving His desire for your marital union.
In the beginning, after God created all the things upon the earth, including Adam, He said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18). God then created the woman and presented her to Adam. Then Scripture declares this timeless principle: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Within this passage God clearly reveals His intention that a man and his wife are to become one flesh. Therefore, oneness is God’s ultimate purpose and goal for every marriage.
Most couples have heard these expressions one flesh or oneness before. However, many couples question what these terms mean and secretly wonder if such a oneness is even possible. Even those who believe that becoming one flesh is the goal of a godly marriage, still wonder how such a oneness can become a reality in their relationship. What does Scripture teach concerning how to achieve oneness with your spouse?
How does oneness occur?
The key to the mystery of becoming one flesh is really wrapped up in another word that is used to describe marriage: companionship. Becoming your mate’s companion is the way God intended for you to become one-flesh with your spouse. The prophet Malachi used this word companion when he reproved the people of God for their harshness toward their wives. He declared, “The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously: Yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant” (Mal. 2:14).
Solomon also described the marital union in this manner when he warned his son concerning immoral women who might tempt him. The king urged his son to heed God’s wisdom so that he might be delivered from “the immoral woman, from the seductress who flatters with her words, who forsakes the companion of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God” (Prov. 2:16-17). Once again the marital union is depicted as a covenant of companionship.
There are two different Hebrew words used in these passages for the word companion. Both words suggest an intimate friendship that occurs as two people are knit together in love. I like how the Bible uses the image of knitting to describe this bond of oneness. Knitting is something we can all relate to because we have all seen someone knit a sweater or afghan.
Think about this illustration for a moment. When doing Fair-Isle knitting it requires an individual to make a purposeful choice to interweave multiple pieces of yarn together to obtain a single finished product. If you took two different colors of yarn and knit them together into a beautiful design it would powerfully illustrate the truth God is seeking to communicate.
Each time you make a choice that results in stronger companionship with your spouse you intertwine yourself together with your mate. Likewise, each time you refuse companionship with your spouse you pull out a stitch and weaken the overall union of your two lives. I have seen the fruit of purposeful knitting in many marriages.
These couples have worked hard at seeking every way possible to knit themselves together, and the result is a deep and intimate friendship between them. But, I’m sad to say I’ve also seen many couples who have refused companionship with one another, day in and day out, and consequently have very little that knits them together. When adultery has occurred in a marriage, this choice literally rips out every stitch and destroys everything. This couple must start the knitting process all over again if their marriage is to survive. May this never occur in your relationship!
The need for knitting
If you desire to keep yourself from loneliness or temptation in your marriage then purpose in your heart to allow God to change anything in your relationship that hinders companionship. You must be knit together in every area of your relationship. I say this because any area in your marriage left undone, will become the weak link in your defense. This is the very place Satan will tempt you and seek to divide you and your spouse.
Therefore, begin right now by examining every aspect of your marriage relationship and determine where your companionship is strong and where you need work. What areas of your marriage should you consider? Take a hard look at your spiritual relationship with your mate, your emotional connection, your verbal companionship, your parental unity, your recreational companionship, and your sexual relationship.
Discuss these issues with your mate and determine to make whatever changes are necessary. If you neglect to take these actions, you leave yourself and your mate wide open for temptation and a further distancing of yourselves from each other. If companionship is God’s goal and purpose for you in your marriage, shouldn’t you make it yours too?
Need more godly marriage advice? Don’t miss How To Develop Greater Compatibility With Your Spouse
If you would like more information on the marriage ministry of Pastor Steve Carr or his book Married and How To Stay That Way, please visit Covenant Keepers
Excerpt republished with permission from Covenant Keepers by Pastor Steve Carr, Copyright 2013