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Erica Galindo
Celebrating Food, Faith and Family
Last edited on: December 5, 2015.


If your child is upset with a specific person, prayerfully consider how you can help him see his own contribution to the struggle. (There are always two sides to a problem.)


Don’t be the mom who constantly blames others for your child’s conflicts. We have all met the mother who goes rushing into the classroom claiming her kid is the victim of everyone else’s wrongdoing.


Even if the conflict appears to be one-sided, teach your [children] how to forgive the person who has wronged [them] whether the other person asks forgiveness or not.


Teach your children how pardoning another person’s offense will free them from becoming bitter. Explain to them that holding on to resentment will certainly quench the Holy Spirit in their life and hinder their walk with Christ.

When someone offends your kids, no matter how tempting it is to do so, you must not allow your heart to grow bitter toward the offender.

If you become resentful, your sin will quench the Holy Spirit within you, and that, in turn, may keep you from discerning God’s wisdom in the trial.

If you constantly intervene when others do wrong to your [child], you will waste valuable opportunities to train him how to deal with conflict honorably. As a rule, resentful people sow seeds of resentment in their children. And forgiving people raise forgiving children.


Focus on living as a godly example before your child, and you will teach him how to handle discord properly. By your own example you must teach your child how to live at peace with others.

The Bible gives this advice about relationships: Pursue peace with all people and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble and by this many become defiled. (Hebrews 12:14-15) Hebrews 12:14-15 instructs believers to strive for peace and pursue holiness so the watching world will see the Lord.

Adversely, if Christians only aggravate their conflicts with people, they will end up distorting the character of Christ to anyone observing their testimony.

Bible Scholar MacArthur states: the Bible teaches us to aspire to live a quiet life (1 Thess. 4:11) – this refers to one who does not present social problems or generate conflict among people in his life, but whose sole rests easy even when in the midst of difficulty.”


The way people interact with others is a good metric for how they are doing in their walk with Christ. One of my favorite verses says:

 Great peace have they which love thy law and nothing shall offend them.

Psalm 119:165

When I am not living peacefully, or when I observe my children offended, I can usually trace the reason to a lack of personal fellowship with the Lord.

This principle holds true for all believers. So teach your child to evaluate his spiritual health when he finds himself unable to get over an offense. (This does not mean it is sinful to have hurt feelings. The wrong is in holding onto resentment.)


Your home should not be characterized by conflict. If your [child] is exposed to fighting and arguing within the home, this will become the way in which he will relate to others.

The habits he sees on display in his relationships at home will spill over into his friendships, his marriage, and one day, his parenting. Has it ever occurred to you that you are raising the father of your grandchildren?

Many people allow their children to fight and argue, giving the excuse, “All kids fight.” But the Bible says:

Love is kind and longsuffering, and the follower of God is not quarrelsome. (1Corinthians 13:4, 1 Timothy 3:3)

 Yes it’s true that all kids will have conflicts. But you, as a parent, have the unique privilege of training your children how to talk through their disagreements in a calm, kind manner and come to reasonable resolutions.*  

And when you take seriously your responsibility before the Lord, to train your children how to resolve conflict in a peaceful manner and how not to develop quarrelsome habits, you will find you’ve given yourself a blessing as well.

For when your kids learn to resolve conflict rationally, this will carry over into the positive way they will relate to you in times of conflict as well, and in this you will find NO REGRET.

To learn more or to book Rhonda for your next women’s event visit: NoRegretsWoman

*Excerpt Moms Raising Sons to Be Men (Harvest House Publishers 2013)

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